How to Help Your Child Treat Everyone Equally

February 20, 2020

Jeannette Tuionetoa

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In a time when people all over the globe are fighting for “equality,” teaching our kids to treat everyone equal is a must. The problem is that as a Christian, that may look a little different than it does to the world, and that is OK. We can only train our children according to God’s Word. Here are a few ideas on how to help your child treat everyone equally. It begins with YOU.

How to Help Your Child Treat Everyone Equally


My oldest daughter knows she is my favorite. My son and second daughter also know they are my favorite. It is a running joke between us all. I tell each one of them that they are my favorite.

I am not lying. My children are my favorite, each one equal to the other. I can’t help it; it’s just the way my heart works.

I can look at one and fall in love all over again; my son, with his sticky hands that want to hold my clean ones – my second daughter, who gives her dad an attitude and my eldest, who now lives on her own doing her own thing.

Each of them is equally my favorite child. I treat them all well, and they each face any consequences that fit their “crime.” Well, they get consequences that fit their actions. They know I love them so much but I do not favor one over the other. I think that is perhaps the first step to showing kids to treat everyone equally. Do it yourself. 

However, this world is harsh. We have biases; we favor things over the other. We like what we like and don’t like what we don’t. We have different characteristics, interests, and ideals. We all, to some degree, have an unconscious bias about the world around us. We pass that on to our children, then wonder why they act as they do towards others.

How can we fix it?

Well, I don’t say we fix it, but we can do the only thing we know to do. When we are trying to figure out this life, we turn to God’s Word, of course.

I must admit that I have an issue when I hear someone say,  “I don’t see color.” I think that is a ridiculous statement.

Before you get upset, allow me to explain for just a moment. 

See, to say we don’t see color is to lie to our children. It is a lie to ourselves. To me, our differences are our beauty.

Our differences are the perfect and magnificent craftsmanship of our Lord. Why say we “don’t see color” when we do see color and it is absolutely beautiful. We see different faces that light up a room. We have different color eyes that allow us to read the Word. We see varying hair types that decorate our heads like ornaments and God says He has every one of them numbered. (Well not in my husband’s case, since he is bald – but you get my drift.)

I can go on and on; I mean, why speak falsehood about being blind to God’s beautiful creation and how He has made each one of us unique. He says we love because HE FIRST LOVED US.

I do see color, I see differences in us all, and I want my kids to see them too. BUT, I will teach them to see the differences in a manner that makes them appreciate the precious life of each human being. This is how we can show our children to treat everyone equally… because we are equal.

The Lord and our equality:

In the Lord’s eyes, He sees if we have Jesus as our advocate or if we do not. To raise children with a heart that equally wants all souls to know Jesus is the goal. Only with this goal in mind, can we see others as the Lord sees them. To help your child treat everyone equally is to teach them how everyone is viewed in the eyes of God and then treat others as such.

To grow children who look to others and treats everyone the same, we should explain that through the eyes of God, we genuinely are – equal. To bring up children who treat others equally, we can bring them to the Word. It never comes back void and is suitable for teaching, always and in all things.

The following scriptures can be memorized and studied with our children to teach them this fundamental characteristic in a world full of diversity.

Matthew 7:12 – 12, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

(The greatest commandment) “(1)Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘(2)Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Every other commandment will fall into place if we do these two things. Love the Lord above all else, and love your neighbors. A heart that is filled with God’s love is a heart that treats others equally, and in the way, they want to be treated.

1 Timothy 5:21, “I solemnly command you in the presence of God and Christ Jesus and the highest angels to obey these instructions without taking sides or showing favoritism to anyone.”

Romans 3:23, “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.”

Acts 10:35, “In every nation, he accepts those who fear him and do what is right.”

Colossians 3:25, “But if you do what is wrong, you will be paid back for the wrong you have done. For God has no favorites.”

1 John 4:19-21, “Those who love God must also love their fellow believers.”

The world and equality:

I mentioned earlier that treating others equally may look different than what the world says is “equal.” I will take a stand and tell you that an example in this is boy teams being for boys only and girl teams being for girls only. I will say no more about this as to not get into a rabbit hole. However, equality looks different from a Christian worldview. It just does. Although that doesn’t sit well with many people, we are going to have to be OK with that.

Spiritually, boys and girls are equal; both are made in God’s image as it says in Genesis 1. We are all separated from God because of our sins, and we all need Him equally, as it says in Romans 3:23.

Our roles are different though none is the lessor or more significant, and our physical makeup/anatomy is different. Each of us is equally necessary and valuable to the kingdom of God. It will benefit our children to teach them about these differences and the value of knowing them. The world will tell them the opposite, so let’s prepare our children.

I am writing about this subject in a unique time in my family’s life. My father-in-law now holds a high position in the country we live in now. I was slightly concerned about how my kids would react. Will they keep their humbleness? Will they still see other kids the same as them? 

Thankfully (to the Lord), the compassion and humility they learned growing up made them unphased about the newfound popularity. They are the same old kids, treating other kids in the same old way. I was and am a proud mama.

Our kids are immersed in a world full of all different types of people, the good and the bad. Treating others equally is something we can begin with at home. We point out when others do not display equality, and we teach our children to be brave in speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves. Remember, ultimately, that we have the power to demonstrate treating others equally at home. We can show our kids how to appreciate the differences in all people. We can be the example our kids need to follow.

Grab some resources that can help you along the way:

How to Develop New Habits and Build Character in Kids (FREE Printable)

5 Steps for Using Scripture for Character Training +FREE Printable

7 Bible Verses About Respecting And Treating Everyone Equally | Unshakeable Joy

How to Help Your Child Treat Everyone Equally

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