How to Avoid Gossip Even When It’s Tempting

Sometimes you think that it is OK to gossip with your best friend because only the two of you will know. It is not. Sometimes you pray for a person with other people, with the full intention of exposing someone else’s sin. For lack of better words, to describe this blatant form of gossip, “That ain’t right.” Gossip surely is tempting but should be avoided at all costs.

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Even before I knew the Lord, I learned a valuable lesson that haunts me to this day. I was driving my friend home and the whole time I was complaining about my other friend. I tore the other “friend” to shreds about how selfish she was and how she only cared for herself.

As my friend had one foot in the car and one foot out, she looked back at me and said something I will never forget. She said, “I am your friend and she is your friend. I hope you never talk about me the way you just talked about her.”

I was in my early twenties then, but I remember that hitting me like a ton of bricks. Gossiping about other people not only can ruin another person’s reputation, it can ruin yours as well. 

The way some women talk, I wonder if they even realize they are gossiping. If we don’t call it out immediately, I wonder how much of someone else’s private life we would know from a third party.

What about sharing information about others with your best friend?

It’s still gossip.

 

Years and years after this first incident I met my very best friend in the whole wide world. We didn’t know the Lord when we met so it was no holds barred. We would talk about everything together.

Even when we grew to know the Lord, we felt safe talking to each other about people. We never would repeat it. We were just venting or seeing if we were in agreement about a conflict.

That ALL came to a screeching halt one day when my best friend stopped me in my gossip tracks and said she was trying to refrain from gossiping about people. She had been reading about gossip in God’s Word and she wanted to stop gossiping, even with me. Can you believe it — her very best friend?

She was adamant about it like, NOPE. She would NOT listen or talk about people with me. Who would I tell about my problems with people? Who would I vent to about an annoying co-worker? Who would I.. gossip to?

After I got over myself, I took heed to what my best friend said. After all these years of sharing our hearts about people, it suddenly stopped. I actually was sad.

Proverbs 18:8 says the words of a whisperer are like a delicious morsel… and I loved to eat that chocolate with my best friend!

If it isn’t tempting to gossip with your best friend in the whole wide world, I don’t know what is. But, it did have to stop if we wanted to follow God’s Word.

 1 Timothy 3:11, “Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things.”

Simple enough right? Well, listen to this. The Greek word Paul refers to in this passage “gossip” is the word diabolos. That is right my friend, diabolos is where we get the word “devil” from. It is clear to me from this that gossip is not only against God’s Word, it also has an association with the devil.

What an amazing example my best friend was to me! See, sometimes it isn’t the huge groundbreaking testimonies that can help you in your walk with Christ. It is those testimonies that take a stand for Christ, that change the path of your ways, and towards Jesus.

Although I missed gossiping to her (that sounds really ugly to admit now), her stance on obeying God’s Word pushed me to turn to Christ and repent.

I learned to lay my burdens and cares with people at His feet, instead of someone’s ears. How precious was this gift she gave me!

Ephesians 4:29 says,

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

I originally thought that her denying my gossipy ways would push us apart. What it did was the opposite. It brought us closer together in a relationship not bonded by the corrupting talk or gossip but strengthened by the obedience to our God.

I am eternally grateful, best friend.

Will you pray with me?

Lord, how tempting it is to gossip especially with those closest to us, but we are spreading venom about others and blatantly disobeying your Word when we do so. Help us, Lord to feel convicted in this area. Help us to quickly stop and pray if we feel like we will gossip to others. Let us pray for those who mock us and hurt us. Let us seek consolation from You alone and lay our troubles at your feet. Thank you, Lord, for showing us how we can gradually make choices to be more like You. In this Lord, help me to keep quiet.

Amen.