When “Slow to Become Angry” Isn’t in Your Vocabulary

August 26, 2019

Jeannette Tuionetoa

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I was a daddy’s girl before he abandoned me at the age of 9. It left me full of anger, even as a child. I spent years in an abusive relationship which left me furious. I was rejected over and over again which left me raging. I think it was safe to say that for a huge portion of my life, “Slow to Become Angry” was not a part of my vocabulary.

When \"Slow to Become Angry\" Isn\'t in Your Vocabulary

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If it was not for God’s GREAT mercy and grace I would have been consumed with anger like a fire all of my life. For the sake of healing and with the hopes of helping someone else, I want to share a bit of my story.

I was abusive at times with my words – to my oldest daughter. I was a single mom at 20 after marrying an abusive man. When he was finally gone for good, I was full of anger because of it.

I turned my abuse to my beautiful, precious, innocent daughter. She didn’t ask to be in this world, yet here she was — stuck with me. A young, depressed mom who dressed her up pretty and made sure she behaved in public. I didn’t let her feel anything. 

I remember times that I wish I could take back, but I can’t.


I had so much rage in me and I didn’t know how to control it. As she got older I learned to be less aggressive with my words but my anger never went away. I grew to know the Lord, yet I still was so angry. It boiled inside of me like a cauldron.

My daughter was the one who saw my anger. Whenever she would do anything wrong, I would make it horrible for her. One day a horrific life event occurred and after that, she just rebelled. I almost lost my daughter. I almost lost her without ever asking for her forgiveness. I am sure she remembered every little thing I said to her as a child, but we just never talked about it. My anger was such that it kept everyone at a distance, even my child.


Overcoming anger was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. It was a part of me. It was in my soul, who I was – passed from generations of hurt women.

It took my daughter being on the brink of ruining her life for me to realize I needed to face and get rid of my anger.

As a new creation, I had to remember God’s still voice saying a wise man holds back anger. Proverbs 29:11 says A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.

You can try to convince yourself that your anger is justified. It isn’t. If you are wise, you hold back anger, period.

In the New Testament, “anger” can be translated two different ways from the Greek. One definition means “passion, energy” and the other means “agitated, boiling.” We understand in certain circumstances anger is righteous, however, the Bible clearly says so much more about anger being foolish and sinful.

Prov. 29:22 says that a man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.

Prov. 14:29 says whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.

I caused many transgressions with my anger, but through Christ, I can be free from it.


Will you pray with me?

I wanted to pray these scriptures because I remember just how debilitating anger was to me and how much it affected those around me. We need the power of God’s Word to combat this.

Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!

I Jn. 1:7, 9 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin… If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

John 15:4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.


When \"Slow to Become Angry\" Isn\'t in Your Vocabulary

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