The Root Cause of Grumbling and Complaining

The literal meaning of the translated Greek word for “complainer” is “one who is discontented with his lot in life.” I almost don’t want to talk about this because I am afraid it will reveal my wicked heart. I am not a prophet but I can foresee this not going well for me.

>> To read all the posts in the “managing our mouths” series, click here. 

The Keep Quiet Challenge – Learning How to Manage Your Mouth – Click here to learn more. 

When people complain, they are saying that what the Lord has given them is not enough. If that doesn’t convict you — it should.

For many years, I felt as if I got the short end of the stick in life. I spent a lot of time asking God, “Why me?” I felt as If I had to work just a little harder than the next person.

For example, as a teen I lived here and there, from house to house. I had a friend who had everything, yet she was the one who found a $100 bill while we were sitting right next to each other on the bus. Here I am, broke watching this like – Why?! It is just how things have flowed for me in life since.

Willfully I walked into bad situations, or un-willfully I was affected by other people’s sin — but either way, I sang, “Whoa, is me.”

I never usually complained to others but I did complain inside. I remember having conversations in my head about why others looked as if they were skating through life effortlessly and I had to struggle.

No matter how justified I felt in my complaining it always left me worse off than before — deeper into depression. Complaining always led me to anger, bitterness, and discontent.

I was still feeling this way as a Christian. 

There was a purpose for me, but maybe the purpose wasn’t for me.

I was separated from my husband for years. He gave His life to the Lord and had a heart of repentance, so we reconciled. My children needed their dad. There was only one problem. He had moved back to the country where HE was from.

Reconciling meant I had to leave the comfort of my home and the conveniences in America. I didn’t really understand the ramifications of what leaving really meant until I was actually gone. 

I spent the entire first year in another country depressed, full of grumbling and full of complaining.

I just knew the Lord wanted me to reconcile, yet the moment I stepped on the soil of this new country I began to doubt the very God who brought me there so seamlessly. Why couldn’t I be like Ruth?! I made my husband miserable and sulked in my own misery.

Grumbling and complaining comes from a root of bitterness that is so deep within your core that you are blinded when it creeps up on you. My grumbling and complaining consumed me like a fire and I felt as if there were no escape.

It took my sisters-in-Christ contending for me and Gods great mercy for me to see myself in this darkness. My discontent and bitter attitude was a sinful cancer.

I praise God for my sisters in Christ pointing out my fault biblically as in Matthew 18:15. In hindsight, I felt as if I was a Jew walking around in the wilderness. Complaining and angry at God for bringing me out of Egypt, and being ungrateful for the perfect food that would sustain me.

I am so grateful that the Lord opened my eyes. My life doesn’t look like I thought it should look. But I am more fulfilled with Christ than I have ever been. I live with less and I am more content with the simplicity of life.

I learned that there is no better place to be than right in the middle of God’s will for you.

Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself… I may see one too many bugs and want to cry… or I get a little too frustrated with sweating profusely the moment I get out of the shower,  I go to this saved tab in my Bible:

Isaiah 40:27-29: Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God”? Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.

What I was telling God with my complaining was that what He had given me was not good enough. When you complain, my friend, you are saying what God has given you isn’t good enough. If that doesn’t convict you — it should.

Will you pray with me?

Dear heavenly Father,

Today Lord, I delight in your Will for me. I delight in the blessings around me. In the twinkling of an eye, it can all be taken away. Help me Lord to keep quiet when all I want to do is grumble or complain. Lord you give abundantly, you take away sovereignly, yet blessed be Your holy and mighty Name.

Amen.