Stop Hurting the Ones You Love With Your Mouth

February 10, 2020

Carrie Fernandez


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I am about to get super real with you, I hope you don’t mind. Before I get into it though, I wanted to let you know this has to do with a personal testimony in regards to my Christian walk. I think even if you are not a believer, you might be able to understand to some extent though, so I welcome you to read on.

I grew up in a super dysfunctional, abusive home. I was in a foster home for a time, lived with people I babysat for, and even relatives. I was a troubled kid who bullied others, started drinking at twelve years old, and made many seriously bad choices. I was headed down a rough path for sure and was almost guaranteed a life of hardships. I was even arrested once at the age of sixteen for shoplifting.

Women holding heart to the heavens in repentance

Whew! That was a little difficult to get out. I hope I haven’t shocked you too much. A lot of this is not known by many people in my life, and now I just shared it with hundreds of thousands of readers.

I met my hubby when I was nineteen. We were together for a few years, got married, and then had our first child (it was a shotgun wedding). When our baby was 9-months old I decided I wanted a different kind of life for her and I started attending church with my mother-in-law.

It took me four years to realize that in my pitiful state, I wasn’t yet truly changed. I had stopped cursing, started dressing more modestly, and even started listening to Christian music, but my heart was left in a bad way.

I had a lot of baggage, tons of bad choices, terrible habits, and a childhood of hurt to deal with. I am the type of person who stuffs it all down and seals it up with a wall. Can you relate?

In 2005 I finally surrendered my life to Jesus. To say that He saved my life is an understatement; He did that in more ways than one. It’s only by God’s grace that I didn’t end up an addict, in prison, or worse…dead.

Contrary to what we are sometimes taught though, it hasn’t been easy shedding the old me. When they say that the first five years of a child’s life is super important in many developmental ways, I totally get that.

Fast forward to 19 years into my marriage (and 15 years as a Christian) and I am still struggling with habits that were formed during my rough childhood:

  • Women who ruled to roost
  • Wives who talked to their husbands like crap
  • Moms who yelled at their children
  • Feelings of irritation and bitterness coming out in spoken words
  • Constant nagging
  • Grumbling & complaining

I really could go on and on. I am all sorts of terrible and I often wonder how my family deals with me.

Last summer my best friend Jeannette and I put together a 12-week Challenge called the Keep Quiet ChallengeWe got a lot of flack for the name of it because some women don’t like the idea of keeping quiet. I totally get that…which is why we really needed it!

Words fly out of my mouth. Thoughts I didn’t mean to speak get spoken, and my tone of voice often hurts those I love the most.

My husband has threatened to record me talking so I can hear how I really sound. YIKES.

The worst part – most of the time I don’t even realize I am doing it! I know I am not the only one, because around 1,000 ladies joined us for our Challenge last year where we did it as a group. It was very encouraging, but I am still a work in progress.

After many requests, we have put together the Keep Quiet Challenge as an individual, 12-week workbook study so you can do it at your own pace.

Women's Bible Study on Managing Your Mouth

This is an open & go Bible study that only requires your Bible or a Bible app. It isn’t time consuming at all and it’s not overwhelming in the least. Those types of studies just add more stress to my life.

The Keep Quiet Challenge will equip you by sharing real-life stories, practical tips, and encouragement on your journey to managing your mouth.

Throughout this study you will learn how to:

  • Tame your tone of voice
  • Stop nagging
  • Quit grumbling & complaining
  • Build up, not tear down
  • Avoid being negative
  • And more!

If you struggle in this area, I invite you to check out Keep Quiet Challenge and consider making a change that your family will benefit from so much. You really can tame the tongue monster once and for all!

Stop Hurting the Ones You Love With Your Mouth 12-Week Bible Study

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