How to Encourage Gratitude in Your Child

Published:
November 16, 2020

Contributor:
Jeannette Tuionetoa

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I have the answer. Just move your family out of a first-world country and you will quickly see them become grateful for things many take for granted. Teaching your child to be grateful doesn’t have to be that extreme.

How to Encourage Gratitude in Your Child text with image of a hand holding a bundle of flowers

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I wish I could say that moving to a country with hardly any first-world conveniences made my children grateful for life.

However, my children’s gratefulness started a long time ago. It started when they were little, teeny-tiny.

What happened was, I just could NOT. I couldn’t deal with one more stressor in my life. I was by myself raising three kids and I couldn’t handle kids that threw fits or whined.

You ever felt like you’ve just had enough? Like you could flip your lid at any moment? That is where I was when my life got turned upside down from things beyond my control.

The very first thing I did was train my kids before even leaving the home. I didn’t have much money at all, so before we would leave the house I would have the “talk” with them.

I would sit on the floor, hold their hands, and tell them how mommy couldn’t buy them anything and not to ask for anything.

It actually worked; they listened every time. That also meant that when I was able to buy them something or give them things, they were over the moon.

They carried this through the years. Then it happened that God brought us to a second world country where I couldn’t get them things anyway.

I believe that our restraint in the past helped them now that we can’t get things so easily. They understand that they have to work in order to keep things going because that is what mommy did.

Being intentional about encouraging kids to be grateful, can be started from when our kids are super little. It is also not too late to try and change bad habits.

How to encourage gratitude in your child is a good question to ask and a great place to start.

Here are a few ideas and suggestions for encouraging gratitude in our children:

STOP giving so much.

It’s rough, I know. We want our kids to have better than we did. If you are living OK, it can be easy to just get kids what they want. Don’t do that!

Give them milestones to look forward to for their next privilege or gift. Delayed gratification is something we must help our kids with because the world does otherwise.

Don’t be shy to ask for some elbow grease.

Making your kids work for something isn’t child labor. It isn’t torture, no matter what they say. It is a benefit to them. They understand the biblical truth – If you don’t work you don’t eat. Don’t get mad at me, God said it.

2 Thessalonians 3:10 (ESV), “For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. “

Accountability is key.

Not holding kids accountable when they do something wrong can have lasting consequences. Do not be lax in your discipline all the time. Be fair and be just.

It is in our discipline, with circumstances, that kids understand grace. Understanding grace results in a sense of gratitude.

Be the example.

Make it a habit in your home to say grace, to give thanks, to show gratitude whenever possible. Yes, make a big deal about being grateful.

Learn to outwardly talk about not taking situations for granted. Everything good is a blessing from above, so show thanks in the good, the bad, the everyday, and even the ugly. There is joy in it all.

Put steps in place to earn things.

Actively find ways for kids to earn money or things they want. This is not for you to get free things from your kids like cleaning, although who doesn’t want their kids to help out?

This is so that we prepare our children for the real world so that they appreciate when things are given to them and to appreciate them, even more, when they work hard for them.

Take opportunities to serve.

Seek out ways that you can serve as a family. If they think of ways to serve, allow them. Grab old clothes to donate, clean up a neighbor’s yard, throw away a neighbor’s trash. There are endless ways we can think of others above ourselves.

In serving, kids understand that the true gift of giving is better than the gift of receiving. It creates humility in a world filled with an entitlement-mentality. Kids understand the concept of working to serve. They intern appreciate when work is done for them.

Get to the root that produces gratefulness.

The root of gratefulness stems from the knowledge that we have been saved by a loving God. He did NOT have to make a way for us to be with him in eternity, yet he did.

He doesn’t have to give us grace, yet he does.

When kids understand we love because he first loved us, they understand that all good things come from the creator. A sovereign and all-powerful creator that made a way for us, and so we stay grateful for every blessing and every trial.

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When we raise children who are grateful it truly can be an answer to prayer for us. It can change their mindset from self-centeredness to gratefulness.

Above all else, before doing anything above – PRAY. Pray for these heart issues for your children. Remember this verse as you encourage gratefulness in your home:

James 1:5 (ESV), “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”

How to Encourage Gratitude in Your Child text with image example of someone handing someone else a bunch of flowers

 

 

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