A nagging wife may not even realize she is nagging. Have you ever said something like, “I told you like ten times already.” Do you find yourself trying to convince your spouse to see your side? Does your spouse feel they can never do anything right in your eyes? If your spouse has ever asked you to stop nagging them, chances are — you are indeed nagging.
>> To read all the posts in the “managing our mouths” series, click here.
The Keep Quiet Challenge – Learning How to Manage Your Mouth – Click here to learn more!
The issue of my nagging went way deeper than married-couple annoyances for me. It wasn’t that my husband’s dirty clothes were outside the laundry basket — an inch away from where he threw them. It wasn’t because he didn’t clean something right, watched T.V. too much, or that he never picked up the towel after giving the babies a bath.
My nagging came from a deeper place, one that I am still trying to recover from it today.
When I met my husband he was one person and after we married, he turned out to be another. When I nagged, it came from thinking he would continue to let me down, and I was determined to never let it happen again. My nagging stemmed from previous hurts by other men and I directed that disappointment towards my husband.
I began to hate hearing myself nag. The dripping faucet that had been turned off all these years in my head had been turned on by the Lord. Maybe my husband was praying for me to stop.
I needed to get to the root of the issue. Keeping quiet was just making me become bitterer, more depressed, more distant from my husband.
When my husband wouldn’t do what I asked, an immediate thought came to my mind. “How could I go through soooo much with this guy and he NOT do what I ask Him to do? He should be jumping at the chance to make me happy after what he put me through.” I was making both of us miserable.
I later realized that nagging did me absolutely no good. The Bible was telling me not to nag, yet, here I was saying with my actions that God didn’t know what He was talking about.
Nagging is actually a grave issue, especially within the confines of a marriage. During the Middle Ages, a person who was accused of nagging was made to wear a Scold’s Bridle. It was placed over the head and restricted the use of the mouth to stop the nagging. That is INTENSE.
The Bible is surely not silent in this matter.
Proverbs 25:24 says it is, “Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife.” Proverbs 27:15 says, “An endless dripping on a rainy day and a nagging wife are alike.”
Really listen to what those verses say. My blood felt like it was boiling when my husband called me a nag. Does your blood boil too if called a nag?
I will tell you why that is. Take a look at these Bible verses:
James 1 23-24: For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.
If the word “nag” is offending you, then it is being used as a mirror because obviously, you have forgotten what you truly look like — and you do not like what you see.
One day I/we will have to answer to the Lord for what I/we have done in His name- with how we reacted to being wronged. When I am at His feet, my nagging will have accomplished nothing but tearing down my husband – a man whom he has called a NEW creation.
Turns out my nagging all boiled down to me being prideful and thinking I deserve better.
How can I possibly be called, “a nagging wife?” After everything I have been through with this guy, why do I have to deal with this? If these are your thoughts, examine yourself.
Can you picture Jesus sitting at the right hand of the Father asking Him, “Why do I have to deal with her discontentment, after all that I have done for her?”
Will you pray with me?
Lord, I am sorry for what I have made it. Help me stop nagging my husband or even my children. Lord, help me to be content with You and only You. Fill my heart with who You are. Help me to know You are all I need. You plainly tell me what nagging sounds like to the hearer, Lord. Help me make my requests known to man once, and to you always. Help me to honor you with my speech and to be satisfied with You as my reward and portion. Help me to keep quiet in this area, Lord.
Jeannette is a wife, mother and homeschooling mom. She has been mightily, saved by grace and is grateful for God’s sovereignty throughout her life’s journey. She has a Bachelor in English Education and her MBA. Jeannette is bi-lingual and currently lives in the Tongan Islands of the South Pacific. She posts daily freebies for homeschoolers!