Loyalty Starts At Home – How to Teach Family Loyalty

Felice Gerwitz is a wife, mother of five graduated homeschoolers, and grandma to eight. She began Media Angels® Publishing while pregnant with her third child and went on to write and produce many books and online conferences. Felice is the founder of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network and the Ultimate Christian Podcast Network. Felice invites you to join her on her show Vintage Homeschool Moms, celebrating its 400^th episode!

Loyalty starts at home. Are you loyal to your husband, your children, your homeschooling, or your faith? Examining how you are loyal will help you nurture your children toward loyalty of their own: their faith, family, and country.

Loyalty is not difficult to demonstrate within a family, especially when the children are young. What happens when those small children grow into teenagers?

Years ago, my father-in-law talked about a family whose older kids had to be home at 7:00 pm sharp for family prayer night. He then sadly related that the parents split up a few years later. How could this be?

As we discussed this serious situation, the conclusion seems unanimous. Doing things to do them without a goal is like spinning your tires when stuck in the mud. You get nowhere. Did the family understand that prayer time was one way to worship God, but spending time as a family was important too? 

Loyalty Starts at Home

The family goal is to realize family members are loyal, and even our pets show loyalty. It is easy to show loyalty to those we love. Are we loyal to our immediate family, extended family, friends, pets, and even our country?

Did you know that one of the reasons warring nations have such a hard time with peace (once American troops pull out) is because they are loyal to clans over their country? They put the clan or nationality or cause first. This cultural belief is instilled at an early age and nurtured. Right or wrong, it is their belief and culture that carries on as they are grown.

 So too, when we mix a group of different nations in the melting-pot that is the United States of America, we find that marriages consist of two people that come from different nationalities, religions, and even beliefs.

So, when it comes to raising children, what happens? There may be a difference of opinion about what is essential and what is not important. These are good conversations to have as your family grows.

How do you instill family loyalty when no one gets along?

My husband always reminds our kids that our home is a place to feel safe, and they can talk to us about anything. We can’t “freak out” or “flip out” when they share something in their hearts that we may find disheartening. Sure, you can express your opinion, but do it lovingly and kindly.

Remember, if we put time into our relationships when children are younger, we will build a connection within our family. But, it is never too late. Family unity builds trust within your family. Realizing the needs of each of the members of your family builds unity and loyalty.

What about repairing bridges with older teens?

Have you neglected to spend time with your teens? Everyone can be pulled in so many directions that it can be hard to make and keep connections. You can express your remorse and apologize for not making more time and change your ways. Then, work on your relationship with your child. It is better to show compassion and admit when you are wrong.

Family loyalty is one of those essential traits that begins and straightens as child ages. Having friends typically takes a more substantial presence and need over the family as your child gets older.

Simple solutions like a family dinner or a firm date weekly for game night will help keep your family united and loyal. It will also help to strengthen relationships with your teens.

What is the example of loyalty that sets your family apart?

Do you worship together, eat meals together, or do other activities as a family? What sets your family apart? What special thing do you do that is unique for your family situation? Maybe your family enjoys music and art, or maybe they are avid outdoorsmen and enjoy camping and hiking together.

It would help if you cherished the uniqueness of your family every day. If not, it is time to reexamine relationships and increase time spent together. 

I created a character planner with the topic of loyalty to explore ways to improve family relationships and dynamics. I’ve learned that if I want to teach my child something specific, it requires the entire family’s participation. The adage is a family that prays, works, and plays together, stays together.