Negative Nancy – Keeping Quiet if You Don’t Have Something Nice to Say

Do you always look for the negative in situations? Do you respond with a negative attitude and expect the worst? Being negative can really weigh the hearer down. The scariest thing about being negative is that many times people don’t even realize they are doing it.

>> To read all the posts in the “managing our mouths” series, click here. 

The Keep Quiet Challenge – Learning How to Manage Your Mouth – Click here to learn more!

Negative people usually do not understand why people don’t want to be around them. They don’t understand why people get annoyed with them or why people feel drained after speaking with them. What they feel is their truth, yet others view it as being negative.

I feel compassion for people who think negatively. My heart goes out to them because a lot of the time their negativity is a result of accumulated negative things that have happened to them.

My father, who I thought loved me, left abruptly when I was 9. When he left I was left feeling as if the only person who loved me was gone. Yet, it turned out that the only person who showed me love was, in fact, a monster and not at all who I thought he was. It ruined me.

I went into an abusive relationship when I was young that ruined me some more.

I felt as if I always had to take the hard route. What “looked” like a cakewalk for someone else was an arduous journey for me. As a single mom, things just got worse. On top of being ugly, fat, stupid, I was also a single mom… a bad one at that.

What I did was spend the rest of my days thinking I was worth nothing, and that no one could be trusted – until I met Jesus.

I didn’t understand why Jesus would love me, but He did. I was unwaveringly grateful to Him, but my negativity was a habit hard to get rid of.

People told me life would be better with Him. They lied.

I was a new creation; I got to feel what true joy was. Yet, bad things still happened and when they did I was convinced that that was His plan for me. Everyone said He had a plan for my life. He had a plan for Esau too, and that is what I related to.

Good things were happening to people around me, yet I was Esau. I was hated, but I chose to live for Him anyway. Though He slay me, yet, I still will follow. I was OK with never being prosperous, never being loved because the one who mattered said He did and that was all I needed. These feelings were real to me. Like negative people have feelings that are real to them. That is why I sympathize.

Although I rarely let my negativity be known to people (besides my closest of friends), I was consumed by it.

When I hear people who outwardly are negative, I can’t help but wonder what their story is. I wonder what has consumed them so much, that it is oozing out of them so easily.

Maybe those who are negative, put others down or look at situations with the worst possible outcomes to cope with life the best they know how. BUT – when Christians experience the presence of God, constant negativity needs to be dealt with.

It is our responsibility as brothers and sisters in Christ to — in a loving manner — “point out their fault just between the two of you” (Matthew 18:15). If we care for one another, then we can be accountable to one another to get that negative mindset in check.

God gives wisdom to those who ask (James 1:5), so if you find yourself thinking or speaking negatively, STOP. You are hurting yourself. God says he will turn your sorrows into joy. Believe Him.

Remember that in John 16:33 Jesus says:

Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy. When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

One thing you can practice with me is the act of gratitude. Let us dwell in prayer thanking Him for the blessings around us. If you can’t think of a blessing, blinded by your thinking, thank Him for another day – a gift some may not have. In the midst of a negative life, choose joy.

Will you pray with me?

Lord,

El Roi – You are the God who sees me.

Yahweh Yireh – You are my provider

Yahweh Nissi – You are my protector, my leader, my deliverer.

Jehovah Rapha – You are who can heal my brokenness

Yahweh Shalom – You bring true peace in the midst of trials and chaos.

Help me Lord to be grateful. Help me to see what You have done. Help us to see situations in the light of Your way, help us to see others as you see them. Help us to rid ourselves of negative speech that tears down and doesn’t see you as the Author of our lives. You have not yet left us, that alone should bring us to tears of joyfulness. Help us SEE You in all things and to keep quiet with wisdom.

Forgive us for what we have made it.

Amen.