Teaching Self-Control as a Skill for Success

[feature_box_creator style=”1″ width=”” top_margin=”” bottom_margin=”” top_padding=”10″ right_padding=”10″ bottom_padding=”10″ left_padding=”10″ alignment=”center” bg_color=”#f5f5f5″ bg_color_end=”#f5f5f5″ border_color=”#edebeb” border_weight=”1″ border_radius=”4″ border_style=”solid” ]Felice Gerwitz is a wife, mother of five graduated homeschoolers, and grandma to eight. She began Media Angels® Publishing while pregnant with her third child and went on to write and produce many books and online conferences. Felice is the founder of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network and the Ultimate Christian Podcast Network. Felice invites you to join her on her show Vintage Homeschool Moms, as well as grab our freebie character planners which change each month.

As a student, I was fascinated with studies that centered around children and their behavior. During one short blip of time, I considered majoring in psychology but soon realized that animal dissections left me sick, so I opted instead to major in education.

One extensive study showed that children who exhibited self-control were more likely to succeed in the future. Years later, the follow-up data proved this to be correct.

What was the world like in my college years? It was pre-internet, pre-cell phone and pre-instant-gratification. Today it is critical to encourage our children to use self-control. In this world of instant answers, talk-to-text, video conferencing, and so much more, our kids can’t wait for anything, and neither can we!

Self-control is the key to future success.

Successful people know how to control their emotions, work on their patience and wait for the perfect time before acting. Many are good communicators and know how to get their way through working with others. 

We love our children, and sometimes it is this love that prevents us as parents from focusing on the conflicts that happen when children lose control. We’d rather give in at the grocery store or checkout lines than suffer the melt-down that is sure to come. We give in because we cannot handle one more thing. I hear you, and I’ve been there. With five children during various times in my life, I was the one that wanted to be in time-out rather than sending my children to their rooms.

What happens when self-control goes unchecked?

We already have all the evidence we need. We see the phenomenon of “snowflakes” and “trophy kids” in our world today. My definition of a “snowflake” is the kids that are so delicate and will have a “melt-down” because they cannot handle opinions that are contrary to their own.

On the other hand, Trophy Kids received a trophy for participation rather than earning the awards. While this is not the child’s fault, I believe the philosophy that “everyone is a winner” did more harm than good. Permissive parents often indulge their children. Once again, I am guilty as charged because this was me at the beginning of my parenting.

There are ups and downs in life, and there are things that happen that are out of our control. We cannot control what happens in our world, and we can’t control what others say or think, but we can work with our feelings and teach our children by example.

Teaching self-control:

In teaching our children about the importance of controlling their own emotions, they will see improvement quickly. We can do this in small ways which build each other up instead of tearing each other down. Our first reaction when our kids get emotional, talk loudly, talkback or get upset is to react negatively. It is essential to be firm and help our children work through the correct way to respond. If we overreact negatively, the outcome will be the opposite of what we want.

One aha moment came into my life and that of my kids when I pointed out that if another person can make you lose self-control, that means that person has control over you. No one wants to be controlled by someone else. When we explain this to our kids, they will get it!

We can all work on this as a family, especially when we are together for long periods we sometimes get on each other’s nerves. It happens even in the best families. Self-control can be encouraged and taught, and the road, while bumpy, will result in clear sailing in the future.

If you want help in sharing the aspects of self-control with your children, I have a character study planner on this topic that is currently available for no charge, for a limited time HERE.

It will later be available at our Media Angels Book Store.