Felice Gerwitz is a wife, mother of five graduated homeschoolers, and grandma to eight. She began Media Angels® Publishing while pregnant with her third child and went on to write and produce many books and online conferences. Felice is the founder of the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network and the Ultimate Christian Podcast Network. Felice invites you to join her on her show Vintage Homeschool Moms, celebrating its 400th episode!
What do families all have in common? At least one stubborn child! All kidding aside, can I ask you a question? Were you that kid as a child? I know I am guilty as charged. Stubborn kids are often great advocates, but not if they are misguided. In this present age of anything goes, where up is down and down is up, I think we can agree that we want to raise kids who make good decisions.
What makes a healthy family dynamic?
A healthy family dynamic consists of many things, and one of the main ingredients is parents who care. If you are reading this blog, you fall into this category. Good families talk, are committed to each other, spend time together, enjoy it, and are respectful of each other. I believe the key to family dynamics if encouraging your children to be flexible and help them see that things often change.
Flexibility is one of those traits that you either have or don’t. It is the definition of the “go with the flow” personalities and the downfall of those who love their ideas and opinions over others. Translation: Stubborn Kids.
Our goal as parents is to guide our children. How do we do this best? By encouraging them to see the gifts that God has given them. It is not a case of being proud or feeling self-important, but showing our children that our gifts as individuals often complement each other. Stubborn children are often misguided in the sense that they can only see their own side of things, and are unwilling to change. The willingness to change their ideas or plans in order to accommodate someone else, takes flexibility, and this can be practiced.
A child who is unwilling to obey a parent, the first authority figure in their life, may have a hard time adjusting outside of the home. We all want to raise children who are stubborn when it comes to strong moral convictions. In this regard, moral convictions are highly encouraged. So, where is the balance? How do we help our kids to stand firm to their faith, moral convictions, and values and not dig in their heels at home?
Here are some quick options:
- Explain the idea of choices. Some are good, some are bad, and some are neutral. Unless something is terrible, they should be open to hearing the other side.
- Listen. This is the key to any type of communication, and forcing yourself to set this gold standard in your family is helpful. If you listen, your child should also have the courtesy to listen to you.
- Follow through. Resistance is often challenging to deal with, set your standards ahead of time, and be sure to follow through. Home should be a safe place for our children. A place where mistakes are forgiven and good behavior is rewarded, but not for the sake of making others feel horrible.
I’ve watched as parents hold up the virtue of one child over another, which hurts all involved. Our families were put together by a Divine hand that doesn’t make mistakes. It is up to us to help our children to become the amazing adults God wants them to be, and move forward one day at a time.
If you need help with ideas and ways to demonstrate this, my latest Character Counts Planner is on the topic of Flexibilty. You can get new planners that change each month by subscribing to my eZine at the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.
Sarah is a wife, daughter of the King and Mama to 4 children (one who is a homeschool graduate)! She is a an eclectic, Charlotte Mason style homeschooler that has been homeschooling for over 16 years now. She is still trying to find the balance between work and keeping a home and says she can only do it by the Grace of God, and Coffee!